I have always found it odd that as soon as Halloween is over, we jump right into Christmas. Normally, the transition comes more gradually for me; I count down until my final exam, and then it becomes all about Christmas. This year, I don’t have any exams, or a trip to LA to count down to, so I sort of got caught in the holiday mentality. Not so much Christmas, because I need snow to really feel like it’s Christmastime, but something in my brain switched and told me it was vacation time. Luckily, with Christmas comes the New Year, which reminded me of all my resolutions, so the vacation fog has cleared, at least for the next month or so.

Carolyne and I have decided that 2014 will be our year, but we don’t just expect it to come to us, we are going to set goals and plans and we are going to make it happen. But in order to really set the best goals for 2014, I need to take care of the resolutions I made for 2013:

-Do at least one thing every day to bring me closer to my dreams ๐Ÿ™‚

-Finish a rough draft of one of my stories

-List of whose roles I could play to help find my type ๐Ÿ™‚

-Find one acting issue to work on every monthย 

-Buy a domain name ๐Ÿ™‚

-Build my websiteย 

-Start a Facebook page for my acting career ๐Ÿ™‚

-Get acting experience (footage for my reel) ๐Ÿ™‚

-Make my demo reel

-Get an Agent

-Get Paid Acting jobs ๐Ÿ™‚

-Develop new skills or improve on previous ones ๐Ÿ™‚

The ๐Ÿ™‚ means it has been taken care of, and I have formulated a plan for the next 6 weeks to hopefully get through the rest of the resolutions, as well as some new ones I made along the way. I have already resubmitted to some of the top agents on my list, downloaded what little footage there is out there of my acting, while contacting people who have more, and read a couple of plays. (One of my added resolutions is to read all the plays I had bought a few months back) I also worked on my websites, here at wordpress, and at casting workbook, but I need to find a way to get all of it onto my domain name. I’ll be needing some help with that part…

Also, there is this open casting call for an amazing project, that I have less than 0.001% chance of being cast in. You can submit yourself online, so I am working on the sides, and asked Suzanna to coach me for it, and I guess help me tape it. I am not being hard on myself with those odds, I am just being realistic. It is an amazing part that the whole world will probably be trying out for, and they will most likely go with a name actress. But, I am still going to put everything I have in it, get the coaching, and put more into this audition than any other. Because even if I don’t get the part, I am still submitting this to be seen by a casting director, and the goal should always be to win the room, not the role. And, as Suzanna put so well last night, “It’s like winning the lottery, and you can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket.” So this is me, buying a ticket, and trying to make sure the odds are in my favor.

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Class last night was fun, but I really need to get through this crying business. I know I am sounding like a broken record. Suzanna says I am getting better, so hopefully, little by little I will get there. But I need to actually work on it, which scares me. I used to be able to cry at the drop of a hat. If someone I loved was crying, I cried too, without even knowing the reason. But then something happened, I got a block, and I don’t cry. When someone I love cries, I comfort them, but my eyes remain dry. There are still a few topics that bring on the waterworks, but I am also afraid to chance them, because these bring on the ugly, wrenching sobs, where I can’t talk and can’t stop. Movies also bring the tears, maybe because they aren’t real. This week, I will try to find songs or memories in the text to bring the tears. If it doesn’t work, I’ll try to stop talking so much about it ๐Ÿ˜‰

“When a person truly desires something, all the Universe conspires to help that person realize his dream.”

-Paulo Coelho

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