After a week off, we were back in class on Saturday, learning some more Stage Combat. I rushed in at the last minute after watching my cousin’s circus show. I am always amazed when watching those kind of performers, just like when my dad has me watching American Ninja Warrior with him, because they are crazy talented. Part of me always assumes that they have been training since birth and I would never be able to do any of the stuff they do. Which is probably true on most fronts, but at the same time, nothing is impossible. My cousin, who is currently touring the province in a circus show, didn’t start training until he was in his twenties. He has always been really active, awesome at sports and in incredible shape, but that still isn’t the same as training since birth. Instead, he found his passion and went for it. He switched careers and trained harder than most of us have ever trained before. He shows me that you are never too old to chase your dreams, as long as you put in the time and do the work.

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I’m not sure about you, but I often sell myself short, and decide that I can’t do things, without ever trying them. Usually it is things I have no interest in, but when it comes to things that I do care about, it is nice to know that I can overcome this pessimism, as long as I put in the time and effort. One such thing that I am constantly fighting myself on, is actually stage combat. Because although I aspire to be a kickass character, and playing a superhero (or just being in a MARVEL or DC movie) would be an absolute dream, I know I am not so good at stunts or stage combat. I know sports and physical activity are not my strong suits. I know that looking at me, you don’t expect me to be anything other than nice and quiet, which I only halfheartedly fight against. I am starting to realize that it is possibly my belief that I am not good at these things that keeps me from changing that, rather than my actual capabilities. In other words, if instead of taking classes while believing that I am not good, I start working harder and believing that I can get there…maybe I actually will.

Saturday’s class was one of the most demanding emotionally, but the easiest physically. We learnt strangulation, which is really disturbing and way more draining than I was expecting, but I feel like I really got it. More as the strangler than as the victim, which was definitely weird. I think succeeding at something, paired with the earlier amazement, is making me change the way I look at things. Instead of trying to take as many classes as I can, I will strive to actually learn and improve and be confident in my skills, so I don’t need to constantly take classes and learn the same things over again. Not that this is the case, as I haven’t learnt most of the things we are learning now, but I would probably have the same success rate if I were to retake the course in a few years, unless I change the way I approach it.

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On Sunday, I spent another day filming the same webseries as last week, with a smaller group, but still a really great time with some awesome people. It was such a treat to be able to just have fun with a character, being silly and ridiculous at times. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together, but really am not looking forward to filming being over.

 

“I love the art of acting, and I love film, because you always have another chance if you want it. You know, if we – if this isn’t going well, you can’t say – well, you could say – let’s stop. Let’s start over again, Gene, because you were too nervous.”

-Gene Wilder, RIP

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