September has been a month of ups and downs for me, but I recently reread a lot of my old blog posts, and have decided to have a more positive outlook, and to focus on what I can change rather than worrying over what has happened or things I have no control over.

I was supposed to be filming The Epidemic around now, but due to scheduling conflicts and availability issues, it has been pushed to hopefully May. This delays my becoming ACTRA and is really a bummer because I was so excited to film it, but since I am focusing on the positive, I now have months to book non-union projects to fill my resume and improve my demo reel. Not to mention the fact that I am lucky enough to have to deal with scheduling conflicts and the availability of recognizable working actors.  I am just going to take this time to improve on my skills and my package (demo, headshots, CV) so that when it all eventually comes together, I will be more than ready for it.

Earlier this month, I made my way to the offices of my Toronto background agent to pick up some cheques and get pictures taken. Sometimes when dealing with texts and emails, I can get paranoid about subtext, but everyone working there so far seems to be incredibly nice and friendly. And I have been on set 3 more times since my last post, having to turn down some days when I was out of town. I’m sure I have mentioned this before, but I love being on set, in any capacity, so the past two days have been awesome 🙂

In other news, the ballet classes conflicted with my schedule, so I am signing up for Stage Combat classes instead, which is good, because I think I make a more credible secret super spy than a prima ballerina, right? Very excited to start that next week 🙂

Last week I resumed classes with Suzanna. It feels so good to be back 🙂 Talking with my classmates and with Suzanna is definitely the cherry on top, but actually learning lines, rehearsing, putting the scene on its feet on camera…I finally feel like I am getting back to the grind. And I get to play a bitch, which is not something I get to do often, so that’s an added bonus 😉

Finally, as far as milestones go, I had my first audition in Toronto yesterday. I have self-taped before, but this was the first time that they emailed and I happened to be on set in Toronto, with a late enough call time the following day to be able to make it. The audition was for a student thesis, and I barely had an hour to look over the sides, but I think I managed pretty well, considering. Of course, due to my fear of not having control and being unprepared, I spent more time learning the lines than building a relationship. In the auditioning room, they had me do both scenes twice, the second time with adjustments. I definitely knew better when one of the adjustments was about my relationship with the other person in the scene, and I might need to get drunk for research and catalog how I act. But overall I am calling it a success, because it was my first Toronto acting audition. First of many 🙂

I have another audition tomorrow, and another the following week, so I feel at least the ball is rolling. I have to adjust my plans and goals to accommodate for shooting delays, but next week I will have a list of goals to accomplish in October, and sharing them with you will be the push I need to make sure they all get done.  Hope you all have an awesome weekend 🙂

“We should stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are.”

-Emma Watson (In her HeForShe speech, but isn’t it kind of relevant for all of us in general?)