Last night’s class was pretty intense. Although the first scene was a nice comedy, the second got back to the fighting we have been accustomed to this month, and the night ended with my two scenes.

First, we did Rachel Getting Married. I know you are supposed to come in, ready to cry your eyes out on the first take if that is what is required of you, but I definitely needed to warm up and get there. We did the scene a lot of times, but every time, I felt like I had so little time to get from being angry at her and dismissing her reproaches, to taking responsibility for what I have done. I didn’t use a trigger or anything, although I probably should have. I would just remind myself that I killed him, and generally I would get a tear or two, mostly after we called cut. In the last take, I was still angry and on the defensive at the beginning, but I thought more about why I had done what they are upset with me for doing. By having the fact that I killed my little brother at the forefront the entire time, it was easier to get there at the end, because it wasn’t such a big shift. Also, seeing tears in Ashleigh’s eyes when I looked at her definitely helped. I’m not sure how well it came across when I rewatched the scene, but I felt really proud of our work afterwards 😉

Last, but not least, was Carol. Maybe it was because I had just done the emotional shouting match, but we got a lot more angry instead of just upset and quiet. Suzanna said there were a lot of really nice moments, and I think it was because we were really present, the whole time, listening to each other, cutting each other off and overlapping, but still listening to each other.We did have layers, so it wasn’t all yelling, and I think we did some really nice work.

“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.”

-Rodney Dangerfield