I didn’t die! :)

So, I just wanted to start off this post by letting everyone know that I not only survived Tough Mudder on July 12th, but I actually completed all but one of the obstacles. And I have the battle wounds to prove it. I am black and blue and really surprised myself with what I accomplished. It is so incredible to see so many people come together like that. Everyone helps everyone out, and two people offered me the shoes on their feet when we were walking back on rocks and I had none (I turned them both down, and only slightly cursed with each step). My dad said he would do it with us next year, but for now, I have the Color Run to look forward to 😉

 Before and after shots…

Since it has been an eternity since my last post, I won’t go through my day to day, but I will share the major points.

First, a guy I took the Dale Carnegie course with contacted me through my cousin Rikki, to offer me a modelling/acting job for his company. I start on Monday, for 3-4 days of kind of showing furniture. I have to admit that I am terrified. Not because of the acting, because I think I can master getting in and out of bed and stuff, but I am bringing my own wardrobe, as well as doing my own hair and makeup. I have done my makeup on sets before, but it has mostly been for background work, not for stuff where I am the only person on camera. Although I guess the furniture is considered the star of the show…I’ll let you know how it all works out.

On the 11th, I had two auditions for some non-union, student films. I thought they went pretty well, though probably not my best work. I didn’t get contacted by either of them, but I think they were filming this weekend, so I’m pretty sure we can rule them out. 

On the 14th, I was in Toronto, having driven there, worked and driven home in all a little more than 24 hours. Am I crazy? Maybe a little. But you see, when you get the chance to wear gorgeous gowns from the 1500s (style-wise, not age-wise) and be on Reign, even as background, you say yes. If you remember, I had being on Being Human as one of my 25 things to do before I turn 25, but Being Human was cancelled. Since the point of it was to be on an American Television Series that films here, I am just going to substitute Reign for Being Human. It would be a dream come true to get an actual role, or continuity background on it, but even being there for a day was truly a treat. I met a bunch of really nice and interesting people, got to learn some of the ropes of Toronto’s acting community, and even got some acting lessons. The lessons were from watching, not an actual coach of any kind. A lot of the extra work I have done has been in big scenes where you can’t really hear the dialogue and just do your own thing in the background, but this scene had most of the main cast in the room with us, and we filmed each of their private conversations, as well as a master with all of them. Seeing how they recovered from saying the wrong thing, or stayed absolutely in character while calling line…it was truly something to see, and take in. I hope I get to go back, and often. 

Last of my news is that on Friday, I did a self-tape. I had submitted myself through a casting agency and was asked to send in a self-tape. I tried to do it with my dad on Thursday, but although I knew it by heart, I had to pause and think of what came next, which didn’t look so great on camera, so we decided to do it Friday morning instead. I woke up super early and worked on it again for about an hour before waking my dad so he could tape it for me. It took multiple takes, but finally I went through the whole thing without making a mistake or having to look for my line. We watched it to make sure it was good, and I saw every pause, every moment of uncertainty, and thought it was horrible. My dad thought it was great though. I couldn’t tell if it was my overly-self-critical self that was being too hard on myself, or if my dad was just anxious to get it over with. So, I settled, uploaded the video and sent it off.

The whole time I was driving to work, I kept thinking how horrible it was, how I should never leave things to the last minute like that, how I should have just kept going the night before until I nailed it. A million things I should have done differently, with the blame dancing around in my head. Then I realized the only one to blame was me. Obviously. My dad probably said it was great because he loves me and like my mom told my brother she loved his drawings in kindergarten, my dad will love everything I do. And he has been so amazing with me every single time I have a self-tape request. I often ask him the day of, and he spends varying amounts of time setting up the perfect angle, the best lighting, and then running scenes with me as my reader and camera man. I am incredibly grateful and so lucky to have him. 

Which brings us back to me. I need to stop being so afraid to speak up. I don’t only need to be able to ask for what I want, to succeed in this business I need to fight for it and not take no for an answer. I mean, if I’m not fighting for me, who will? Also, I should never judge a self-tape about whether it is good or not, and whether I got all of the words right. The idea of taping yourself at home is that you have as many takes as you need in order to make it perfect. I should never be sending something in unless it will win me the job, or at least the room (in this case anyone who watches it). This lesson is especially important since I later got an email saying that I did a great job, but the quality of the video was horrible, making it so grainy that you couldn’t even see my face. Coming off as mediocre and like I don’t care about their time or value the opportunity is definitely not what I was going for. On the bright side, I have two hours of driving in a car, completely stressed out which will ensure that in the future, I will watch all videos before sending them, and if they are not amazing work that will make people want to hire me on the spot, I shouldn’t send them out. Lesson learned.

That’s mostly what has been going on with me on the acting front. I should be pretty busy over the next few weeks, which might not leave that much time for posts, but next time, I will hopefully be able to share some exciting news I have been holding onto. Or at least not sharing here. If you happen to run into me I’ll probably tell you all about it. But officially, I’ll be telling you all soon 😉

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing up there half the time. These performers that go on about their technique and craft – oh, puleeze! How boring! I don’t know what technique means. But I do know what experience is. I know in my gut when I’ve done a scene right.”

-Elaine Stritch