Overwhelming Kindness

My heart is so full of love for everyone who is supporting me on this journey. I know I should stop being surprised about it, but I truly appreciate everyone who had been checking out my imdb page, reading my blog, and my entire family who are coming to the Body Horror Film Contest on April 11th to support me 🙂

My week has been pretty interesting as well. And I need to pay more attention when reading exciting emails. I didn’t get one of the parts I auditioned for last Friday, but I was the preferred candidate for the other one. Or so I read, without noticing that I was the preferred candidate not for the role I auditioned for, but for the nurse, who is SOC (silent on camera). I am still really excited, because in theory it means I was the second best audition they saw (the nurse is the only other female character) but I wish I had taken note of that the first time I read the email instead of going around thinking I got the lead. Anyhow, still seeing the audition as a victory 🙂

On Tuesday and Thursday, I worked for McGill as a standardized patient. I am not always going to mention what goes on there, because it is often just run of the mill stuff, but this week, I had to kind of get out of my comfort zone. I was dressed up all gothic, with a whole lot of black makeup, and I had to be mean. Like sit there angrily and be completely unhelpful. The first day, I actually had to be told that I was being too nice and sharing too much. By the end of the first day, I got it, but I was just playing someone so removed from myself, that it took a while to figure out. On the plus side though, I have always been afraid of not being the nice one, of being mean, and at least in a make-believe capacity, I have handled it.

On Tuesday I had class with Suzanna, where I got to do a scene from Proof that I really love. It’s between sisters who see things very differently, and I just loved exploring that relationship. I was also really excited to work on a scene from Friends, when something completely crazy and amazing happened. My grandfather was talking to my cousin, who is currently looking for a job, and he decided he was going to send us to take Dale Carnegie courses. It was an offer we couldn’t refuse, although it starts Tuesday, which puts a damper on acting classes, but the things we learn in this course will be invaluable, and I am so grateful to my grandfather <3

On Saturday I had an audition for an independent feature that will be filmed this summer. I had to prepare a monologue, so I went with the one from Serendipity. I worked on it so much, picturing the moments and the hours she mentions, but I can’t remember if I used any of it during the actual audition. What I do remember is that I said ‘coincidences’ in a way that added 4 or 5 letters to the word. We did a cold reading of a scene from the script after, and although I think it went okay, I don’t think it went amazing. Like I am not holding my breath for the lead, but crossing my fingers for a supporting role.

After the audition, I went out to celebrate my best friend from high school’s birthday. I hadn’t seen her in a really long time, and didn’t actually know anyone other than her at first, but after a while, we all got to talking and I had a really good time. I still laughed and felt self-conscious when I told people I was an actress, but at the same time, I actually had projects I could mention when they asked me what I had been in lately. Nothing that they knew, of course, but at least I have been working on things and auditioning and getting to know other Montreal actors and I feel that even though it is such an unbelievably slow process, at least I am constantly moving forward and improving.

 “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.”

-Booker T. Washington