The Right Kind of Jealousy

What was meant to be a pretty busy weekend turned into a writing extravaganza, so I am now back on top of my word count. Unfortunately, it also means that I didn’t get to have brunch with Carolyne, and filming for a french webseries I am participating in will be postponed.

Another thing that happened this weekend, was Comic Con in San Diego. Since I spent my weekend writing and walking around town, you know I wasn’t there, but my twitter and facebooks feeds were bombarded with trailers and pictures and enough to make me see exactly what I was missing. Personally, I would love to attend comic con just to listen to the panels and walk the floor and live in that atmosphere for a weekend. But even more, I dream of being invited to comic con to actually be on a panel. To have a project that is so highly anticipated that people line up outside Hall H to see our trailer. And more than anything, I want to play an awesome and fierce character who gets me on EW’s Women Who Kick Ass panel. As I was scrolling through my twitter feed, I have to admit I was jealous, and maybe a little worried that I would never make it to comic con in any capacity. Instead of letting these two emotions fester into one of those ‘I’m never going to make it’ moments, I used them as inspiration. I let myself be jealous for a moment, and then I decided to do something about it.

Comic Con will be in San Diego through 2018, so I made that my year to attend. Or, hopefully, to be invited. I realize that this really doesn’t give me a lot of time, but as long as I am working towards my goals and making progress, I will be happy. For starters, I finally did another agent sendout, and I am making my daily goals count. I currently have an ‘ideal’ 5 year plan, as well as a more lenient list of deadlines for myself, which I consider more realistic. There are a lot of things in the acting industry that are completely out of my control, but I am going to make sure that everything in that list that I can control, I will get done. Even the ones that scare me or make me nervous. If it takes more time to get where I want to be, that’s okay, as long as I know I did everything in my power to achieve my goals.

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One of those things I have to do is work on my craft, which I did last night in my acting class. I missed last week, so Suzanna had a guy from the Monday class come in just to do the scene with me. When I was doing it last night, I felt that I was all over the place and not connecting with him and not liking him enough, but we did 4 takes and watching the last one this morning, I really like it. I need to cut down on the facial expressions when I am listening to him talk, and learn to just be still in the moment, but other than that I am really happy with it. And looking forward to filming a scene for Carolyne’s demo next week 🙂

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”

-George Edward Woodberry

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