Decisions, Decisions

I am really bad at making decisions. That isn’t to say that I make bad decisions. It just take me a really long time and I flip flop a lot before finally deciding. And even then, I’m never entirely sure I made the right choice. I mention this because I recently applied for a position as a flight attendant, and now that I have more information about the commitment it entails, I’m not so sure what I want to do anymore. Although the idea of being paid to fly around the world seems like a dream come true, I feel like it might be a step back from any progress I have been making as far as acting is concerned. Living in Toronto, where there are so many opportunities, also seems like it would be awesome, but would I have time to go on auditions? Could I find the time to film my short? Would I be able to put myself on avail or would I always be on-call? These are only a few of the million questions swirling around my brain. 

As for what has been going on this past week, I did not get the french part I auditioned for, but he did say I was an incredible actress and he would like to contact me once he has another project. This seems to be the standard response when being turned down for a part in a student film, but I choose to believe that he actually meant it.


Tuesday morning, I got an email from Suzanna, about one of her former students needing an actress for an indie feature. They needed a scene of my work or a demo reel, which I don’t have, so I hurried to my dad’s computer and fixed a scene from Proof to send in. Must have been okay, because I got an audition for Saturday morning 🙂

That evening, Dale Carnegie was cancelled, so I managed to get back into my class with Suzanna. It is a really good thing that I went, because it turned out just being me and one other person. I read for him, he read for me, and we did our scenes audition style sooo many times. I need to work on it taking me less takes to really get into it, but I think the last takes were pretty good, if I do say so myself. It was awesome to get to really work on them in depth, and we also got a lot of talking in as well 🙂


Speaking of Dale Carnegie, even though the class was cancelled, that doesn’t mean I have the week off. We have 3 books to get through during the course, and I have been doing a lot of reading! I have also been working on #100days. A lot of people have this thing about 100 days of happiness, but Bonnie Gillespie’s Bonblast suggested changing your life in 100 days, through a goal or something that you work on for a little over 3 months. It isn’t long enough to give up and get discouraged, but it is long enough to make a difference. I couldn’t decide on one, so I have two 100 day goals, with one being getting everything ready to film a short, and the other getting an agent. It might be tricky doing two at the same time, but whenever I want to procrastinate, I can just work on the other goal 🙂 For this, I have been updating my CV, cutting scenes to make a demo, researching Montreal and Toronto agents, researching requirements for the festivals I would hope to enter, etc. So far I am still in the really excited phase, which I hope will last quite a long time!

On Saturday, my audition turned into a meeting, where the guy I submitted to literally sat down and told me about my part, the movie…I had to hide the perma-smile. Even more amazing was that since my scene I sent in was so awesome, he didn’t want to waste me on a non-speaking part, so I got home to an email saying I was upgraded to a speaking role, either a professor or a librarian or something. So excited!

On Sunday, I had an audition for a play, Brighella. It was not only an audition for theatre, which scares me, but it was for someone I know. So I obviously spent my morning trying to find a valid excuse not to go. It was then that I realized that if I was that terrified of doing something, then it was clearly something I should do. I am pretty sure they were only auditioning for one female part, so with everyone they had auditioning and my horrible italian-ish accent, I am not expecting anything, but I am still super proud of myself for ignoring the excuses I was giving myself as a way out, and actually going to audition, no matter how afraid I was. 

In other news        -my family and I all have our tickets to the Body Horror Film Festival, which you should all check out if you’re in town. 

                             -I have been watching Helix, which is pretty interesting, but oh-so-inspiring, due to all of the amazing Montreal talent I see on it. It is so exciting to see people you know and work with on TV, especially when it is well-deserved and well-done. So excited for all of them, and inspired for myself!

                            – Dale Carnegie is right about having a sincere interest in others. I don’t know if there is any correlation, but the producer from a short I was in posted on Facebook that he would be directing a feature this summer. I thought this was awesome and liked his post. He wrote me a message, sent me some sides and offered me a part. I hate networking, but I guess when there is genuine interest in the other person, amazing things may come of it 🙂

“Just do it.”



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