Lately I have been looking at pictures of the Sundance Film Festival, or the SAG Awards show, and wishing I could be there. But, when this pang of longing hits, I realize that it’s not just being there for the premieres, festivals and award shows that counts. I’m sure it would be amazing to somehow get to be at either of those places, but how much more incredible will it be to walk around Sundance actually promoting a film that I put long, hard hours into auditioning and preparing and filming, or going to the SAG awards because something that I was in, or a performance that I gave, touched people. Just like they have a booth on the Hollywood Walk of Fame where you get your picture taken and they put your name on the star, but I’d rather wait to get my picture taken in front of my very own, real star, that actually does have my name on it. Basically, I realized, or understood, that it is so much more rewarding to reach those incredible milestones, after going through an equally amazing journey. I don’t just want to be an actress for the awards and festivals…I want to be a part of movies and go through all the long process so that when I get there, I deserve it!
As far as my actual week went, Zak brought in a scene that was supposed to be a frozen read, as in we only got it once we were already in front of the camera, but I had done the scene during ISP, so I didn’t have the fear of being rejected, and kind of played the ending. Probably to compensate for being told I was too scared and vulnerable last time. I think I reached a middle ground during the callback, but we are only watching those tomorrow. And I was right about the Drive scene, how it wasn’t as good as the first time, which Zak feels is because I need to treat it as a rehearsal, not as a performance, and try to add a little something new.
As for improv at the Groundlings, we actually did scenes, which was scary, but so much fun! And after, I went to the Blu Jam Cafe with some new friends!
Today in class with Sean (at AMAW) I still had my issue of not embracing the sexiness, though i did try to flirt while in line at the coffee shop, but I trusted my instincts a little more, moving when my gut told me to…Baby steps, but I feel like I am improving, and growing every week, as is everyone else in class. It’s really amazing to watch, and for the first time in our caps today (where you talk about what happened in class) we praised each other instead of just talking about what we learned ourselves. My scene with Jesse was even mentioned by someone as one that they enjoy, and that keeps improving every week, so huge ego boost! We are changing scenes and partners now though, so looking forward to working with Erica!