A while back I mentioned that I started using mantras. I have always been pretty skeptical about them, partially because I was afraid of focusing on a mantra that wouldn’t come true and thus prove the theory wrong. You might not see the issue there, since not trying it would get the same effect, but part of me believes very strongly in the power of thought. So if my skepticism or setting my sights too high made the thing I visualized not come true, it would have reaffirmed my fears and that mantras don’t work…so I was afraid of sabotaging myself? It makes sense in my head.
In that post I mentioned how after reading lots of articles from Dallas Travers, I started reciting mantras while shoveling instead of just thinking about how much I didn’t like shoveling in the cold. It became sort of like a wish list of a million different things, formulated as “Why am I getting so much work?” “Why am I booking so many roles?” “Why am I so confident?” “Why am I nailing so many auditions?” “Why am I accumulating so many ACTRA credits?” “Why are all of my dreams coming true?” I repeated these mantras over the next few days while walking to my grandmother’s, swimming, sitting in traffic…I had an open mind, but wasn’t really expecting anything either.
It started out with a bunch of days as a reader for a really awesome casting director. Then I got booked for all 4 days of what was once referred to me as the SP Olympics at McGill (which includes a whole lot of dry runs and orientations…meaning lots of days of work!). I also submitted myself for a few projects, excited to do some self-tapes, live some lives and win some rooms. I was absolutely thrilled when I booked the first one off a voice sample. Then the second from my demo reel. When I was sent a script and offered any part I wanted from someone I had worked for previously, I was starting to believe there was definitely something to these mantras. Finally, when the response to my self-tape was that I had officially booked every single one of the projects I had submitted myself for…I decided mantras were my new best friend.
So far, I have filmed two of those projects, got back to work on The Cohort and have other projects in various stages of development. Once upon a time, a teacher told me to use that as an answer for what I am up to if I am not actually up to anything at all. Today, it is the best way to sum up the many projects I truly have in various stages of development. And I am so excited about them. Even self-tapes for friends have me feeling so inspired, like I am moving in the right direction. Not to mention all of the awesome classes I have been attending.
There have been a few years where I have told myself it would be my year, but they were more wishful thinking, something to appease the self-doubt that had built up over previous disappointments. This year, I mean it. Not just because I want it to be true, but because I am putting myself out there and making it happen. I am working so hard on the mindset, on putting myself in situations that take me out of my comfort zone, doing all those things I put off because they scared me…This is my year. I have been crazy busy and I haven’t been able to do ¾ of the things I had set out to do in March, but I have done so much more than I ever expected. As I write this, I am the kind of tired you get after working a million days in a row, but I am absolutely loving it.
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”